20 years

Lake Powell, Spring 1999

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I was 18, she was 10. The first time we met was during a family vacation on a houseboat on Lake Powell. It wasn't my family. I was only there for the water skiing. I was invited to spend a few days with the extended family of a girl I was dating at the time. Being thrown in with a group of people I didn't really know was a little overwhelming. I come from a small family. This was over 30 members of a family spending a week on a single houseboat.

She was this cute kid that was feeling down and out. I was in the middle of strangers. As if to rub it in, her younger sister had a friend with her on the trip and wasn't being very nice to her. It was also near the time her parents divorced. We bonded, she needed a friend. So did I.

I think back to some of the time we spent together. She had braids in her hair. So did her sister. She was ready to take hers out. Any change from her sister was welcome. They were the kind of braids that were really small and covered her whole head. They were braided tight and were held together with a bunch of small rubber bands. I helped her cut out the rubber bands, 50 or more. I think it liberated her from her mean little sister.

A few years later, back to Lake Powell and that same houseboat. This time with family. It was the same group of people but now with the connection that comes from marriage. Late one night a group of us decided to walk up on the beach and watch the stars. My wife's head resting on one shoulder and hers on the other. We talked about life and all the other things that a sky filled with a milky way glow brings out among a group of friends.

The next time I saw her was a few years later at a cousins' wedding. She had grown up some. Now almost 15. She wasn't a little girl any more. I still pictured her as the cute little 10 year old I first met. She still treated me like her big brother. A very nice feeling for somebody who was the youngest in his family.

The last time I saw her was at her great grandma's funeral last summer, my wife's grandmother. She brought a date to the grave-side services. Still trying to fill the role of big brother I told her she should worry less about boys and focus on going to college and getting a degree. I hate to see young 18-19 year old girls get married and then drop out to support their also very young husband get his degree. He seemed like a really nice guy and the rest of the family were very excited for her. Her and the boy she brought to meet the family were married 4 weeks ago.

I found out 20 minutes ago she died last night. Her and her husband of 4 weeks were in a car wreck. She was driving and fell asleep at the wheel. They were on their way to their wedding open house back home. He is in critical condition and it doesn't sound like he has a very good chance of making it.

My thoughts and prayers are with they family.

Here is to the memory of that little girl I met 10 years ago.

Here is to a life taken too young.